“Happiness is a choice.”
“Be positive at all times.”
“Smile and have a good attitude.”
“Life is what you make it.”
Yes, all the above positive statements are uplifting, true and helpful indeed. I use and live by them almost every day. At least, I try to anyway. But sometimes, I feel shitty having a no good, bad day. Plain and simple. On these shitty, no good, bad days, hearing these statements makes me want to hurl a projectile vomit and throw a spear at anyone who dares to speak them to me. And, you know what? That’s OK.
We are human. And being human means we experience a vast array of emotions ranging from anxiety to peace and from depression to joyfulness. I do believe life is 100% better being happy and positive. But we need to accept there will be days when we feel upset, stressed, scared, depressed, anxious and frustrated. Life is not always rainbows and unicorns, but sometimes tornadoes and wolves. Once we accept this fact, we can take the proper steps to prepare and handle these difficult emotions with grace and dignity.
Even though we feel wrecked, these unpleasant emotions aren’t necessarily “bad”. They give clues to what needs attention for self-improvement and healing. Once we notice the clues, we have the opportunity to look deep within and see what truth lies beneath the surface. It also means we are normal trying to navigate our lives in a difficult world. In the end, what matters most is what we do with these emotions.
I’m no expert since I am working on this all the time. But when I feel negative or sad, here are a few things I try and maybe they will help you too.
- Embrace it: When you feel down or upset, embrace these feelings. Like a loving mother holding her crying baby, nurture and hold your feelings with love and compassion. Heal your pain with your attention and care. After a while, the pain or sadness fades away transforming into peace.
- Let go of the story: We tell ourselves stories in our minds about how bad it is, how awful we were treated and how we are victims over and over again. Today, let go of the story. Release it into the universe. If you can’t let it go, change it. Make yourself the hero. See yourself rising above the ashes to overcome your challenges and win.
- Journalize: Write down your feelings. Let all the nasty, raw emotions bleed right on the paper seeping through the other side. The more honest you are with your writing, the more you release and heal. This is great way to process your emotions while helping you see things from a different perspective. When I write about something I am upset about, I notice towards the end my words have changed to a more positive tone. My view point shifts throughout the journaling to see things in a new light.
- Feel your body: Pause and take a moment to feel the stress and tension in your body. Where do you feel tightness? On your forehead or cheeks? Are your neck and shoulders tight and tense? How is your breathing? Is it short and shallow? Are you tensing up your jaw? The more in tune you are with your physical body, the greater ability you have to relax. Practice deep breathing and release the areas you feel tension and restriction.
- You are not alone: All of us have bad days. We all get stressed, overwhelmed and experience disappointments and failures. Please know you are not alone and it’s ok. Reach out to a friend and talk about what’s going on. I’m sure they have their own story to tell helping you understand we all experience struggles.
- Relax: Take a time out and relax. Meditate next to a tree. Go for a walk next to a lake. Maybe even take a nap. Sometimes the best medicine is go within and be with yourself for a little while. There’s nothing selfish with needing to spend time alone to rejuvenate and center your spirit. When you come back from relaxing, things will be much easier to deal with. You might discover it’s not as bad as it seemed to be, but instead, turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
If you are feeling shitty, having a no good, bad day, remember it’s normal to feel this way. Don’t beat yourself up. Instead, understand you are a beautiful soul filled with light and love learning valuable lessons in a challenging world.
One day, you will get there.
We all will, together.