Lost, But Never Gone

For the past few months, I’ve been feeling…lost. My sense of who I am vanished making me a stranger to myself. I thought I knew who I was moving forward in a specific direction towards my goals. But then out of nowhere, I was thrown way off path leaving me disorientated, unsettled and bewildered.

Have you ever felt lost and out of touch with yourself? Have you felt you were on the “right” path but then suddenly went astray moving into unknown territory? You knew for sure where you were going and where you were headed but unexpectedly, you veered way off course.

It’s unnerving and upsetting being lost in a chaotic and distressed world. Especially when you thought you knew where you were going. The notion to choose our destination and stay on track no matter what is drilled into us. Don’t get distracted. Don’t move your eyes from the prize. And heaven forbid, don’t look backwards. You are expected to keep driving down the road you started on at all costs. 

Discover the Joys in Difficult Times

This is a very difficult year for many. Maybe one of the hardest. No doubt. We are all suffering from constant trauma, crushing stress and debilitating fatigue without much respite from the daily challenges we face. For me, I have trouble sleeping at night thinking about the division, hate, sickness, the suffering of others, climate change and the civil unrest in this country and worldwide. 

But in the midst of troubling times, there are gleams of light shining through muckiness revealing the joys hidden underneath. It takes intentional effort to see the goodness when all things seem dark and dreary. I know I find it extremely difficult to be positive and to see the limitless sky beyond the raging storm.

Don’t Feel Bad for Saying No

I have a problem.

I have trouble saying no.

And when I do say no, I feel bad.

Then I obsess over and over about being a bad person for saying no.

But when I say yes to something I don’t want to do or don’t have time for; I berate myself for not saying no. 

With all this ridiculousness and mental nonsense going on in my brain, I had an aha moment.

I should never feel bad again for saying no to something if it’s not a priority, if I don’t have time, if I don’t have the energy or if it’s not aligned with our current goals. Saying no when the situation isn’t right, is healthy for my well-being and inner peace. 

But even with my mind-shattering aha moment, I still apologize for saying no like I did something wrong or need permission to choose what to do or not to do in my life. 

I know! Crazy, right?

Do you struggle with the same thing? Do you feel like a jerk for saying no when your heart says yes? If so, why the heck do we do this to ourselves?

  • Fear of making someone mad, upset or disappointed
  • Fear of losing out on an opportunity
  • Fear of hurting someone’s feelings
  • Fear of being perceived as unhelpful or rude
  • Because we are people pleasers
  • Because we’ve always done that thing in the past
  • Because it’s expected of us

But these reasons are phooey, rubbish and pieces of junk. Saying yes when our hearts say no leads to resentment, frustration, stress and burn out. Neglecting self-care, family time and the space to pause are vital for a joyful and peaceful life. 

Yes, there are times to sacrifice when someone really needs your help. But on a regular basis, saying no and setting boundaries creates the space you need to expand your creativity, deepen your faith, to serve in areas most meaningful to you and to be present with your loved ones. 

When you feel bad for saying no, investigate yourself and ask these questions:

  • Why do I feel guilty for wanting self-care?
  • Am I really feeling guilty or not confident about my decisions?
  • Am I imagining others being upset with me or is it really true?
  • Am I afraid to be who I really am in front of others?
  • Am I afraid of confrontation?

For your family and for yourself, the best thing to do is to create healthy boundaries and sticking to them. Saying no and setting boundaries is hard at first. If you’re not used to it, you’ll feel mean and rude. I know I am still working on it. It feels weird, and I feel like a jerk!

But once you get over this initial hump, you’ll feel empowered and free. It will feel healthy instead of feeling oppressed with another weight added to your to-do list. 

When you say no, you are saying:

  • Yes, to honor what’s most important.
  • Yes, to allow the time to be creative.
  • Yes, to make family time a priority.
  • Yes, to have the space to heal and relax. 
  • Yes, to focus on my passions and goals.

One of the best decisions to make, is learning the power of saying no… and not feeling bad about it. You’ll be in charge in your life with the confidence to make the right choices regardless of what anyone thinks. If you want to live your best, harness the power of saying no. 

Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash

Unsubscribe

For 2020, I want you to unsubscribe. What??? (not from me of course lol). I am asking you, including myself, to unsubscribe from all thoughts, actions, commitments, or activities holding you back from living in peace, vitality and joy. 

Unsubscribe yourself from:

  1. Feelings of unworthiness
  2. Toxic relationships draining your energy
  3. Thinking you’re not good enough
  4. Trying to control everything 
  5. Overcommitting and filling your plate too high
  6. Not saying no
  7. Eating unhealthy foods and not taking care of your body
  8. Not getting enough sleep
  9. Allowing others to take advantage of you because you’re nice and generous
  10. Being a people pleaser instead of a God pleaser
  11. Spending too much time on social media
  12. Making excuses for not doing what you love
  13. Comparing yourself to others. We are all unique and special created by God.
  14. Not spending enough time with family and friends
  15. Negative self-talk
  16. Watching too much TV
  17. Not having the courage to be yourself
  18. Being too serious
  19. Worry, fear and doubt
  20. Trying to be perfect
  21. Clutter and obsessing over material things
  22. Whining and complaining
  23. Living in the past
  24. Giving up when things get too hard
  25. Not believing in yourself to accomplish your dreams
  26. Being a victim
  27. Drama
  28. Settling for less
  29. Playing it safe
  30. Not forgiving

Subscribe to things bringing you joy, peace, energy and love. Fill your mind with books, music, entertainment and articles to grow your consciousness. Nourish your soul with prayer, meditation, creativity and spending time in nature to embrace your true essence. Feed your body with healthy foods and activities to thrive with vibrant energy. 

Let go and release yourself from all the junk and crap holding you back from the life you deserve. You only have one given to you by God. Not it’s time to really start living your life with meaning, love, passion and purpose to be all you are meant to be.

Photo by Denys Nevozhai on Unsplash

I’m a “Bad” Christian

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.”
Ephesians 2:8

I woke up late and didn’t do my prayer time today…I must be a bad Christian.

I’m a divorced, single parent with a rough past…I must not be suitable for church leadership.

I overreacted and yelled at my son after a stressful day …I must be an impatient and unloving Christian.

I have Madonna on my Spotify playlist and watch Outlanders on Starz TV… I must be a wicked Christian.

I worry about my future and afraid of what lies ahead of me…I must be an unfaithful Christian.

I don’t earn enough income to give as much as I want to… I must not be a generous Christian.

When I read the Bible, I don’t always understand or want to challenge the words written… I must be a disobedient Christian.

Some Sundays, I want to sleep in instead of going to church but with a grudge, I go anyway. Shouldn’t I be a cheerful church attendee?

I drank one more glass of wine than I should have. I must be too wild to be a Christian.

I don’t fall into the picture-perfect Christian woman model who’s supposed to feminine, modest, meek and who wears pink, flowery dresses. Instead, I prefer to kick, punch and throw in martial arts class, wear black and listen to rock music. I must be a bad Christian woman.

I don’t always seek God first for answers but instead complain to my friends and family about my problems. I must not trust God enough to be a good Christian.

I believe women have a right to Church leadership, people are free to choose who to love and everyone has a right to choose their religion. I must be heretical Christian.

Every day I feel I fail being the picture perfect, cookie-cutter Christian “model”. Maybe I’m too hard on myself or maybe it’s true I’m not disciplined or obedient enough. But aren’t we all both good and bad Christians at once taking two steps forward, one step back? Who are trying to impress anyway…our fellow church members and society? Or the one who matters most… our God the Father Almighty. 

To be honest, I have no desire to be the picture perfect, cookie-cutter Christian “model”. I desire to be the woman God made me to be. Nothing more, nothing less. I can only fit in the mold crafted by God for me to embody. Not the mold built by expectations of others and my false sense of self

And when I do make mistakes, I still come back to the feet of Jesus trying to do better and be better. But within the space of feeling unworthy comes acceptance. God accepts me as I am right now. God accepts all of us as we are right now. Not the “perfect” Christian model but as the messy imperfect humans we are.

Yes, God wants us to grow our character, learn from our transgressions and be more loving towards others. But along this spiritual journey, He loves us know matter where we are at in life. All the things that make us a “bad” Christian are the negative constructs of our mind trying to pull us away from the one true faith that saved us.

That truth is we don’t earn our salvation or do good works to qualify getting into heaven. It’s given to us by grace through the love of Jesus Christ. All we need to do is accept Him in our hearts and love him with every fabric of our being. It’s that simple.

Good Christian, Bad Christian…whatever you think you are, at the end of the day giving your heart, mind and soul to Jesus with God at the center of your life surrendering to His will, is the true meaning of being a “Good” Christian.

Psalm 23: God is Always With You

Psalm 23
A psalm of David


The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.

One of the most beloved scriptures in the Bible is Psalm 23. These words from God are elixir to the soul during troubling times when someone is afraid, depressed or anxious. It’s a sweet reminder of who God is and He is always with us. Psalm 23 has profound healing effects when the pain and suffering is so deep, you’re begging for light to shine upon the darkness.

There was a time in my life when I read this scripture every day. I couldn’t read anything else but Psalm 23. It was an anchor to my faith and the direct line connecting me to God’s truth. God’s truth is He’s always with us even when it hurts so bad, we don’t feel He’s there. But no matter what is going in our lives, God is forever on our side.

God gives us clarity when we are overwhelmed with life. God brings us peace when we are stressed out from our obligations and responsibilities. God gives us rest when we’re burnt out from the pain and suffering. God leads us to quiet waters to help calm our minds and ease the tension from the mind, body and spirit.

Christ is our shepherd keeping us on the right track when we are tempted to give up and throw in the towel. He makes sure we keep on keeping on even when our strength is weak, and our will is diminished by providing us with eternal nourishment. 

On the days with no energy to move forward or when we feel we’re spiraling downward; God renews our life by helping us to see things from a different perspective. With our new vision with open eyes, we can see the right path God had laid before us.

There’s no need to fear even in our darkest moments because God is protecting us, and Christ is our shield of love and light. Jesus wants to be the center of our lives providing us with comfort and guidance everywhere we go, in every decision we make and every challenge we are faced with.

By trusting God, we can experience peace and joy no matter who has hurt us or what terrible tragedies have occurred. God loves us regardless of our circumstances and He never gives up on us. Even when others give up on you, God is always faithful and consistent in His word by never leaving our side.

God’s everlasting love and commitment to us is beyond our own understanding. His love is always overflowing and nourishes our soul non-stop 24/7. Sometimes we don’t feel God when we are in so much pain and darkness. But rest assured, God is there guiding, protecting and loving us every step of the way in our life’s journey forever and ever. 

Photo by Leon Biss on Unsplash

The Quiet Power of Humility

“As I have said, the first thing is to be honest with yourself. You can never have an impact on society if you have not changed yourself…Great peacemakers are all people of integrity, of honesty, and humility.”
– Nelson Mandela

Humility is a beautiful but lost virtue in today’s power seeking, narcissistic world. Harnessing the quiet power of humility is not something people readily seek out or learn.

With our culture placing tremendous value on worldly things such as fame, awards and accolades, notoriety, and outward appearances, humility gets lost in the sea drowned by the noise of egoistical desires. 

It’s not the favorite virtue to seek because humility requires us to be honest with our faults and to own up to our mistakes. But in the end, having humility is the path to joy and fulfillment by looking deeply within and taking the rights steps to improve.

People with humility take responsibility for their lives, are open to other’s suggestions, ideas and perceptions and have a self-controlled view of their skills, talents and abilities. They are happier because they live simply and know what really matters in their lives.

Being humble means knowing there’s a greater power working beyond ourselves and our own understanding. To accomplish our dreams and our heart’s desire, we need to surrender to God’s power knowing we can’t do this on our own. 

We need help, guidance, grace and strength to carry us through. We have to trust He will guide us through our journey, and He is in control. We are along for the ride and if we choose the right car to get in, we will arrive at the right destination in God’s time.

Here are some other ways humility is an important virtue to learn and harness. 

Humility is a Quiet Strong: 
Sometimes humility is perceived as a weakness. But in reality, it’s the opposite. To be humble is to be strong. 

quiet strong. 

This type of quiet strength doesn’t need a loud speaker, a boisterous voice or the need to shout on a mountaintop. Humility is a strength that’s gentle, kind, nonjudgmental and the willingness to be of service to others.

Being humble relies on truth no matter how painful it is or how difficult it is to face our shortcomings and mistakes. It’s easier to push our suffering aside and ignore the faults we harbor. 

It takes great strength and wisdom to see our truth as it is unfiltered and raw. When we see our truth head on, we bow down to it with great honor and reverence encouraging us to change and become a better person. 

Humility Shows We are Human:
Being humble allows us to accept failures and mistakes with a deep understanding we are all human and one way or another we’ll make mistakes.

People with humility are able to handle failures because they don’t tie their accomplishments to their self-worth. Mistakes and accomplishments don’t define us. They are not who we are but only what we’ve done.

We are spiritual beings having a physical experience, so our self-worth is much more than the labels we own, the materials we possess, our corporate status or how many likes we get on Facebook. Humility knows we are deep souls and our lives meant to live with a higher calling and purpose.

Humility Opens the Door to Learning: 
No matter how much we know, there’s always more to learn. No matter how much an expert we are in something, there’s always someone who knows more than we do. 

To learn, we need an empty cup to fill more knowledge and wisdom. If we are overflowing with our egoistical views of ourselves, there’s no room to add anything of value and meaning. We stunt our personal growth and spiritual development.

But with humility, we open the door wide to expand our consciousness to gain a deeper understanding of life while simultaneously knowing we can never stop learning.  

Humility Teaches Compassion and Patience:
Being humble with an open heart unlocks the door to compassion. With humility we cultivate empathy, patience and tolerance towards one another.

Once we accept we are in a constant state of learning and growing, we see others with grace and mercy. We are no better than them and they are no better than us We are all learning and growing together.

It’s easy to comfortable around someone who is humble because we are free to be who we are. We don’t fear being judged or criticized because the humble ones don’t feel or act better than us. They understand when we make mistakes and are willing to hold our hand when we get back up.

Humility relieves the pressure of always needing to be on top. It’s exhausting to portray perfection and trying to perform at our best in every waking moment. 

But with our humble humanity we know perfection is not possible. Once we embrace and surrender to this truth, we can find peace. In this place of honest humility and integrity, we become servants of the world on a mission to spread love and help our fellow humans to bring out the best within each other. 

Photo by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash

Transformation is a Tough Job

I believe people can change. I know this to be true because of my own personal transformation. 

In the past, no one believed I could change. Many doubted my drive and passion to push myself to higher levels of consciousness. But no matter what anyone said or thought, I was determined to become the best version of myself and live aligned with God’s truth.

In my process of deep change, I learned transformation is tough and it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do. It’s painful, slow, exhausting and sometimes lonely.

Transforming oneself is not for the faint hearted or the lazy spirit. It requires an enormous amount of energy and effort requiring you to dig deep into the dark crevices of your soul.

You need to be ready and willing with unwavering commitment for your inner revolution. You must be willing to show up to do the work, take 100% responsibility for your life and be honest with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses. 

But after the painful, exhausting and excruciating hard work of years of dedicated effort, its more than worth it. Waking up and being who you really are is one of the best things you could ever do for yourself.

I learned (and still learning) if you want to transform yourself, you must do these four things.

1: You must want to change: You can only change if you have a deep desire and will to transform your life. You can’t ish it or go half asked. You gotta be all in. You need to have a fire in your belly lighting up your soul to burn through everything needed to be healed and released. This passion will trump anyone’s opinion that you don’t need to or can’t change. Allow your strong intuitive sense to guide your decision and resolve this must happen no matter what. 

2: You must do the hard work to change: Transformation is very hard work. There are no shortcuts or life hacking skills to get around it. You must travel through the dark valleys of your soul and face your shadows with courage and honesty. You have to own all of your mistakes and past hurts taking full responsibility for them. You must feel the pain and move through your grief to let go of everything holding you back. This divine work on your mind and soul is a daily practice requiring you to show up again and again.

3: You must have a strong support system to change: Transformation does not happen on your own. You need a support system. Ask your family, friends or find a mentor to help. It’s vital to have someone you trust to point out what needs work and show you what your strengths are. Having a shoulder to cry on and a hand to hold through the tough times is key to making your transformation a success.

4: You must have faith in God or a Higher Power: You will not be able to transform on your own power. You’ll burn out way before you make any significant changes. You need the Divine to flow through you to give you strength, courage, energy and the grace to keep moving forward. Surrendering to this power signals to God you are truly ready for change, and He will help you transform way farther than you ever could on your own.

The journey of transformation is a long and arduous process. You must be in it for the long haul because there are no shortcuts to get you there. 

I wish there was a magic wand to change overnight, but it doesn’t work that way. It’s like a marathon running slowly to build your endurance along the way of moving towards your goal.

However, the goal of transformation never ends. It’s an evolving process made to challenge you to keep progressing and growing to higher levels of consciousness. It’s always about the journey, never about the destination.

But if transformation is so hard and never stops, then why do it? 

Because what lies on the other side of the pain, hard work, exhaustion and suffering is joy, love, peace, strength, confidence, trust, belief, compassion and deep healing. The reward is creating a whole and purposeful life being aligned with your truth at the deepest level. 

Transforming yourself into the person you are meant to be allows you to live with intention and walk the steps to fulfill your Divine mission here on this earth. 

My Easter Prayer for You

May you be peaceful and free.

May you be happy and joyful.

May you find healing and resolve.

May you be kind, generous and compassionate.

May you feel safe, secure and strong.

May you be patient, understanding and never judge others including yourself.

May you feel gratitude for everything you have down to the minute details in your life.

May you feel God’s love in your heart every day.

May you honor Mother Earth and take great care of Her as She takes great care of you.

May you open your heart to the light of Christ within.

May you accept Christ and feel Him living and breathing in your body and soul.

May you resurrect from your dark shadows and be renewed to live your inner truth.

May you surrender to God’s will and live aligned with His Word and His truth.

May you live true to your purpose and serve humanity in the best way you can.

May all beings be happy, peaceful, safe, kind and generous no matter where they are or where they came from.

May all beings be healed, free from suffering, tolerate of others, compassionate towards one another and feel gratitude for what God has given them.

May all beings discover their life purpose and shine their inner light spreading love and joy upon the world and everyone in their presence.

May this Easter prayer reach out to the hearts and souls of all living beings lasting forever in the power of God and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

The Power of Words

“Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”
– Proverbs 16:24 24

When we open our mouths to speak, go on the computer to type words, or write on a piece of paper, every letter we communicate matters. Words have energy with the power to unite or polarize. Words can heal or hurt. Words can create peace or disharmony. Words can bring beauty or disturbance. 

The effect we create by the words we communicate with is our choice. Many of us already know the power of words but still respond with a knee-jerk reaction using words that are harmful causing stress or discontent. I admit I do this when I am frustrated or angry.

It feels like we don’t have control. But we do. Throughout the busyness of life, we need constant reminders the words we say or write have a ripple effect on the world. I know for me, I want to create a positive impact with everything I do, say and act. So, I need to work on this all the time.

One way to create awareness of how you speak is to notice how your body feels when you say certain words. For example, when I say things in anger directed towards another person, I feel icky and gross. Like I want to detox from the toxic junk. But when I say something loving towards another person, I feel joyful and vibrant. Like a bucket of light poured down my head filling my body with peace.

Another way to create awareness is to notice how you feel when someone says certain words to you. If someone says something rude or raises their voice, I feel defensive, withdrawn and anxious. Like I am not good enough feeling less than. But if someone says something kind or speaks in a soft, loving tone, I am receptive and willing to be open. It makes me worthy, energized and peaceful. I feel safe.

Think about yourself in these situations. How do they make you feel? What does it feel like in your body? Does it make you want to scream or rejoice? Does it feel painful or healing? Do you feel like you want to run and hide or jump up and down with joy?

Take time to build your awareness of how your thoughts effect your body, how you think and how it drives your actions. The deeper awareness you develop, the easier it will be to catch yourself when your thoughts are negative and not helpful to your well-being.

Not only do our words matter when speaking to the external world, but our words matter when we speak to our internal world. I believe these words matter most. Our thoughts effect our hearts resulting in how we respond to the world and the people we interact with daily.

The more positive thoughts we say about ourselves and our life, the happier and content we are. The happier and content we are, the more peace and harmony we spread to the environment we live in.

“Whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things.”
-Philippians 4:8

Over time, we’ll deepen our awareness of the words choose to use and how they affect ourselves and others. We’ll become more confident knowing we can create beautiful music with our voices and thoughts sending positive energy of love, peace and harmony to the world around us.

Photo by Ash Edmonds on Unsplash