“The life you have left is a gift. Cherish it. Enjoy it now, to the fullest. Do what matters, now.”

― Leo Babauta

It was a clear and sunny spring day. The sky was bright with gentle blue gradients falling from the heavens to the earth. Two worlds colliding together creating a sense of peace and harmony bringing serenity to the hustle and bustle of the morning. 

But the tranquility of the moment came to a halt. The hospice nurse called me while I was at work. Before she spoke her first word, I knew why she called.

The nurse said, “Your dad is close to death. Probably within 24 hours. All signs point he’s ready for the next step on his journey.” After the call ended, I picked up my purse, left work and drove to the nursing home where my dad lived. 

When I arrived, my dad was incoherent. But he looked peaceful like he was in a deep sleep. After talking with the nurse, she left me alone so I could spend the last moments with my dad. Bit by bit his breathing slowed with longer pauses in between. Even though he couldn’t speak to me, I talked to him anyway. I knew in my heart he could hear, and I wanted him to know how much I loved him. 

I sat next to him for a few more hours just being there in his presence. When the pauses between each breath grew longer, I thought to myself, “Is this really it? Is my dad really going to die?”

I got up from the recliner and stood next to his bed and held his hand. I told him it was ok to go to heaven, and I would be alright. I caressed his forehead reassuring his daughter was strong and would get through.

At 1:30 pm, my dad  took his last breath. I didn’t move. Actually, I couldn’t move. I stood there feeling his spirit in the room with me even though his body just died. It was heartbreaking and sad, but I felt grateful my dad chose to pass with me by his side.

My dad saw my first breath and I saw his last. It was a sacred moment. Bittersweet filled with sorrow, grace, love and peace creating a holy experience that will always exist in my heart and soul.

As a believer in God, I have deep faith and conviction knowing my dad is in heaven with his past loved ones and friends. I believe without a doubt he is living in eternal rest with God and his angels. No more pain. No more suffering. Only peace.

Over the last couple months since my dad’s passing, I’ve been reflecting on the lessons death taught me. Most of these may seem expected or cliche. But that’s because they are true and need repeating. I know for me personally, I need to do things a million times before anything sinks in.

Here are a few things I’ve been working on and hopefully they will help you too.

1. Appreciate the Ordinary: Over the last few years, my dad’s health declined rapidly. Mundane activities became challenging and difficult. It created immense suffering. This entire journey with my Dad reminded me it’s the simple, ordinary things that matter most. Simplicity is often overlooked and underrated. We all have a tendency to overcomplicate, overthink and overdo things.
   
   But magic manifests within the ordinary. An evening walk with your dog seeing the sun begin to set while feeling the shift in weather. Engaging in your morning spiritual practice while the world is quiet and calm. Watching your kids roll around in a barrel laugh over the silliest thing. Moments like these bring joy on a daily basis. Be aware and present to catch these opportunities when they arrive.
   
   
2. Spend Quality Time with Family: Never be too busy to spend time with family. I understand we have seasons when working overtime is necessary. But make sure it’s not a habit.
   
   Sit down at the kitchen table for family dinners away from the TV with phones silenced and put away. When you are angry, pause before you speak. Be mindful of your speech, assuring it’s helpful instead of hurtful. You never know when your words are the last ones your loved one will hear.
   
   Your ears are meant for listening. Use them when someone needs to talk. Quality time with family is not about extravagant vacations. It’s the time you choose to spend with them using your undivided attention. Make memories everyone will cherish in their hearts forever.
   
   
3. Don’t Sweat It: Dad told me he stopped worrying a long time ago. He said it’s a complete waste of time. Experiencing the endless cycle of the worry roller coaster in myself, I agree with my dad. Worry robs you of joy and peace. That’s why being present is called the “present”. It’s a gift tied with a big red bow allowing you to experience every moment to the fullest. You can’t live in the present while worrying about the future and ruminating about the past.
   
   
4. Develop a Spiritual Habit: I don’t care what religion or faith you follow, but it’s imperative to have some kind of a spiritual practice. For me, I believe in God. My faith guides me through every season in life giving me the strength and power to get through life’s challenges. There is no way I could persevere on my own strength.
   
   My walk with God grounds my spirit and feeds my soul. It teaches me how to live with love and treat others with patience and compassion. Having faith in eternal life after death, gives me peace knowing death is not the end. It’s the beginning of a new journey uncharted awaiting my first step for when the time comes. You don’t have to believe like me, but look deep into your heart and find a spiritual practice that speaks to you.
   
   
5. Follow Your Dream: We all have that one thing we’ve always wanted to do. Your dream can be big or small. It’s entirely up to you. But if you feel a pull from God nudging you to follow your dream, you must go for it. Because if you don’t, He will push you to make it happen!
   
   I understand it’s hard to find time to work on your dream and that’s ok. Just don’t give up on it. Maybe spend 15 minutes a day working towards it. Create small, manageable goals leading up to your big goals. Little steps daily accumulate over time and before you know it, you’ve made big strides on your journey.
   

Experiencing the death of your loved ones is very difficult and heartbreaking. The grief never goes away and will always be a part of your life. I miss my dad very much and think about him every day. But death transformed my perspective on how precious and beautiful life is. Life is to be cherished and treated with honor, gratitude and compassion. By respecting the natural cycle of life and death, you will learn to live and love well.