Are You in Pain and Hardly Breathing?

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“Turn your wounds into wisdom.”
― Oprah Winfrey

The pain. It hurts. Like nothing you have ever felt before. It’s crushing. Debilitating. It paralyzes you. You hope, you pray that one day this awful pain will go away.

Trust me. It will.

Breathing is hard. Short and shallow. Each breath you take feels like broken glass entering your lungs. You wish and hope for the day you could breathe like a normal human being once again.

Trust me. You will.

Right now, you feel buried. Buried deep down in the ground with the dirt of your life suffocating you. The grimy, filth of your troubles makes it hard for you to breathe. You want to wipe this shit off from your face, your life, your body.

Trust me. You will be clean once again.

It’s hard to be around people. The laughs, giggles, boisterous conversations and social interactions seems too out of touch for you to comprehend. You want to disappear and get the hell out confining yourself in the safety of your cocoon. But you hate living and feeling this way. You want so much to feel happy and connected like everyone else.

Trust me. One day you will.

This trauma, devastating life experience is hard. Real hard. You wonder if you ever will make it through. But, I know for a fact you will get through it and rise above it. You will become better, stronger, tougher, amazing, powerful, beautiful and wonderful. And even if you don’t believe me, pretend you do just for a little while.

Trust me. You will rise above the ashes.

You are a survivor. A warrior. A soldier. You are your own personal superhero with ability to tackle any villains on your path. You are stronger than you know pulling out your strength from deep within the reservoirs of your soul. No doubt, you will fly and soar high in the sky.

Trust me. Your cape is waiting for you.

The path before you used to be clear. But now there’s only darkness. You fear the unexpected twists and turns making you fall and breaking you down even more. But one day, the light of your inner wisdom will appear. It will be dim at first but will grow brighter as you continue to venture down your new road.

Trust me. One day you will see the light.

I know life is hard right now. Real hard. And, you can hardly breathe. But one day, you will get better, stronger, tougher, amazing, powerful, beautiful and wonderful.

Trust me. You will.

Light Your Fire, Carry Your Torch and Walk Your Edge

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“We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be.”
– May Sarton

Standing still, the safe way or the scary way. Which path will you choose?

Standing still leads…well to nowhere. No growth, no spiritual development, just… being there. The safe way leads somewhere…but not to where you are supposed to be. Limited growth, limited spiritual development, and just… mindlessly walking through life. But the scary way leads you to where you belong…your true destination. Skyrocketed growth, spiritual awakening, and fully being there…perfectly and authentically you.

Too many of us live our lives being a fraction of who we are. We are afraid to be authentic in fear of offending others, being an outcast or misunderstood. Our inner fire is blown out with our spirits living in darkness so we walk the safe the path or worse… not moving at all.

But, I say no way and to hell with that. Grab that mindset and throw it down to the ground. It’s time to walk scary path leading you to the places where you belong and becoming the person you are meant to be.

So, how do you walk the scary path leading you towards your true place in life?

You need to light your fire, carry your torch and walk your edge.

Light Your Fire
To start being authentic and live true to yourself, light your fire. This is the fire in your heart ignited by your passion for truth and greatness. It burns hot giving you strength, energy and vitality to get on the path and stay on the path. The internal flames motivate you to push through obstacles and challenges to keep moving forward no matter what happens.

Carry Your Torch
Now with your inner fire burning strong, light your torch and carry it on your path. This torch is the light of your inner wisdom and intuition deep within your soul. It helps you see in the darkness and when troubles come along the way. Trust and have faith this light will guide you right to where you need to be.

Walk Your Edge
You ignited the fire in your heart. You are carrying your torch of wisdom and intuition. Now it’s time to be brave and walk your edge.

This is where the rubber meets the road, and the hard work begins. Fear and the real you come face-to-face pushing you to live in absolute truth with courage and strength. No sugar coating and no watered-down versions of yourself. You are not one person in the presence of another while being different in front of another. You are consistent with who you are with each and every person you meet. It means being brutally honest with yourself accepting what needs to be changed and doing what feels right in your heart.

Walking your edge on the scary path is well… scary. Here are some suggestions to keep one foot in front of the other without falling off track… or the edge.

  1. Practice on Easy People First: Start being the real you with the people who love and accept you the most. These are the people who celebrate with you and walk by your side through anything. Then, move on the ones who challenge you more. Once you overcome their resistance to you being you, you’ll gain confidence to keep your edge with everyone on your path.
  2. Open Your Heart and listen to it speaking to you. Guidance for your life comes to your heart from God helping you live with your truest self. Remember, it’s doesn’t matter what someone else thinks is right, but what you feel is right.
  3. Be Unapologetic: Never apologize for being authentically you. If you are sarcastic, be sarcastic. If you are nice, be nice. If you are bold, be bold. If you are quiet, be quiet. Whatever it is as long as it’s you. Never ever sugar coat or downsize who you really are.
  4. Be Fearless: To walk your edge means you must face your fears and plow through them. Kick fear in the ass knocking it down so you can move forward.
  5. Be Assertive: When someone tries to pull you away from your essence, be assertive and say no! Stand tall and strong for what you believe in. No need to be disrespectful or mean, but remain calm and grounded in your mind and spirit.
  6. Use Your Voice: God gave you a voice for reason. To use it. So use it wisely. Speak your truth. Don’t be shy. Tell people how much you care about them. And, don’t let someone cut you down. Express yourself. Be honest. But, always do it with love. Right speech equals loving and truthful speech.
  7. Come Out of Hiding: What’s that mask you’ve worn all these years? What about the closet you’ve been hiding in? Are you wearing a set of clothes to cover something deep inside of you? Whatever it is, pull it off and come busting out the doors. Many of you are afraid to show your true colors for fear of rejection or being different. But, you create this fear. Most people want to see the real you instead of a fake persona. And if they don’t like the real you, boo-hoo for them. It’s their loss, not yours.

You need you, the real you. Your family needs you, the real you. Your friends need you, the real you. The world needs you, the real you.

The next time you wake up in the morning, make a choice. Choose to get up, be the real you and take the scary way. And when you do, remember to always…

light your fire, carry your torch and walk your edge.

 

Featured photo credit by Jordan Whitt

When You’re Having a Shitty, No Good, Bad Day

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“Happiness is a choice.”

“Be positive at all times.”

“Smile and have a good attitude.”

“Life is what you make it.”

Yes, all the above positive statements are uplifting, true and helpful indeed. I use and live by them almost every day. At least, I try to anyway. But sometimes, I feel shitty having a no good, bad day. Plain and simple. On these shitty, no good, bad days, hearing these statements makes me want to hurl a projectile vomit and throw a spear at anyone who dares to speak them to me. And, you know what? That’s OK.

We are human. And being human means we experience a vast array of emotions ranging from anxiety to peace and from depression to joyfulness. I do believe life is 100% better being happy and positive. But we need to accept there will be days when we feel upset, stressed, scared, depressed, anxious and frustrated. Life is not always rainbows and unicorns, but sometimes tornadoes and wolves. Once we accept this fact, we can take the proper steps to prepare and handle these difficult emotions with grace and dignity.

Even though we feel wrecked, these unpleasant emotions aren’t necessarily “bad”. They give clues to what needs attention for self-improvement and healing. Once we notice the clues, we have the opportunity to look deep within and see what truth lies beneath the surface. It also means we are normal trying to navigate our lives in a difficult world. In the end, what matters most is what we do with these emotions.

I’m no expert since I am working on this all the time. But when I feel negative or sad, here are a few things I try and maybe they will help you too.

  • Embrace it: When you feel down or upset, embrace these feelings. Like a loving mother holding her crying baby, nurture and hold your feelings with love and compassion. Heal your pain with your attention and care. After a while, the pain or sadness fades away transforming into peace.
  • Let go of the story: We tell ourselves stories in our minds about how bad it is, how awful we were treated and how we are victims over and over again. Today, let go of the story. Release it into the universe. If you can’t let it go, change it. Make yourself the hero. See yourself rising above the ashes to overcome your challenges and win.
  • Journalize: Write down your feelings. Let all the nasty, raw emotions bleed right on the paper seeping through the other side. The more honest you are with your writing, the more you release and heal. This is great way to process your emotions while helping you see things from a different perspective. When I write about something I am upset about, I notice towards the end my words have changed to a more positive tone. My view point shifts throughout the journaling to see things in a new light.
  • Feel your body: Pause and take a moment to feel the stress and tension in your body. Where do you feel tightness? On your forehead or cheeks? Are your neck and shoulders tight and tense? How is your breathing? Is it short and shallow? Are you tensing up your jaw? The more in tune you are with your physical body, the greater ability you have to relax. Practice deep breathing and release the areas you feel tension and restriction.
  • You are not alone: All of us have bad days. We all get stressed, overwhelmed and experience disappointments and failures. Please know you are not alone and it’s ok. Reach out to a friend and talk about what’s going on. I’m sure they have their own story to tell helping you understand we all experience struggles.
  • Relax: Take a time out and relax. Meditate next to a tree. Go for a walk next to a lake. Maybe even take a nap. Sometimes the best medicine is go within and be with yourself for a little while. There’s nothing selfish with needing to spend time alone to rejuvenate and center your spirit. When you come back from relaxing, things will be much easier to deal with. You might discover it’s not as bad as it seemed to be, but instead, turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

If you are feeling shitty, having a no good, bad day, remember it’s normal to feel this way. Don’t beat yourself up. Instead, understand you are a beautiful soul filled with light and love learning valuable lessons in a challenging world.

One day, you will get there.

We all will, together.

Heal the Crying, Hurting Inner Child Within You

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Time to heal, time to be and time to be free. But to heal, to be and to be free requires you to go deep. Go deep into your wounds experiencing the pain head on. When you travel through your hurts, sadness and despair, you give them a chance to speak to you. Your pain has much to say for you to learn, move on and grow from your experiences.

Your wounds and past hurts are like little children in desperate need of comforting and nurturing from their mother. They are crying for you to hold and kiss them to make it all better. They want to tell you everything so you can emphasize with them while showering them with all your compassion and love. This is your inner child within you begging for your attention.

But, we push away our inner child who’s suffering from pain. We don’t have time. We don’t want to deal with it. Why should we go back there? It’s over and done with anyway, right? We are resistant to face what hurt us in the past because we are afraid of being hurt once again. But if we don’t give our inner child the time and the chance to heal, we’ll keep hurting now in this moment living in pain whether we realize it or not.

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Divorce Made Me a Bad Ass

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On September 1, I was honored and delighted my guest blog post, Divorce Made Me a Bad Ass, was featured on SweatpantsandCoffee.com. To read my article, click here.

Plus on SweatpantandCoffee.com, there are amazing articles on celebrating life, creativity, inspirational stories and things to make people feel good about themselves. I invite you to check out this fun and engaging website.

Blessings to you and have a wonderful day or evening!

xo,
Jodi

My Mind is Going Freakin’ Crazy! Simplicity is Needed Now!

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I have to do this! I have to do that! What am I going to do next? What do I have to do tomorrow? What is due tomorrow? And so on and so on and so on. The relentless things to do list runs through my head like a runaway freight train with no end in sight. It makes my already frizzy hair even frizzier like a crazed woman.

With unlimited commitments, working multiple jobs, keeping up with the housework, driving kids around, all the various expectations and duties, our lives are too complicated. When you have a family, this comes with the territory. But many times, we add extra stress and anxiety unto ourselves.

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Be a Tough and Awesome Fighter

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I’m a martial artist who loves to fight. Kicking, throwing, punching, arm barring, pinning. You name it. I love it all. If you challenge me, I will take you up on it. If obstacles are in my way, I will push through it. If someone charges at me, I will throw them down. Hard.

Nothing stops me from facing my opponents head on. Is fighting scary? Yes! Is fighting fun? Of course! Do I learn from fighting? You bet.

As much as I love fighting in the Dojo, my favorite fights are the ones I face in daily life.

But first, let me clarify what I mean by fighting. It’s not being mean to someone, being a bully, hurting people or starting arguments.

What I mean by fighting, is to fight the good fight. The good fight involves fighting for your passions and dreams, for what you believe in, your self-worth and your life purpose. It’s about living and walking your inner truth being the person who you are deep down inside. The good fighter is strong and brave, but fluid and relaxed with a spirited heart filled with light and love.

So how do you become the good fighter?

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Death: A Lesson in Life

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“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”
-Mahatma Gandhi

Last Saturday I attended a funeral visitation to grieve and honor the death of my friend’s mother. As my friend talked about her mom, the pain on her face gripped tight within my heart and body. Everyone in the room connected with her grief. It was palatable. And, justifiably so. Her mother was a delight filled with love, and we were blessed to have known her.

At the luncheon following the service, a few loved ones spoke in front of the group. They expressed how much they loved her, her impact on them and what they remembered most. Every story was beautiful, touching and unique in its own way. But what struck me the most, was these stories included the lessons learned from her death. And, the lesson was to live life fully filled with love.

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Because God Has Your Back

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“The feeling remains that God is on the journey, too.”
– Teresa of Avila

I worry.

It’s hard not to. Isn’t it? But like the Facebook posts I read every day, worrying robs me of my peace without solving anything. Everything happens for a reason so it’s best to embrace things as they are. Most of the time, things work out anyway. All of the worrying becomes a waste of time. Besides, God is in control making sure things happen according to His plan.

So why worry? Why spend your energy and your thoughts on something that may never come to fruition? Because there’s no need to. Instead of worrying, pray. Pray to God about your fears, stress and concerns. He will answer. So don’t worry.

Because God has your back.

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Stick with Your Life Purpose: Part 3

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“I’m not afraid… I was BORN for this!”
—Joan of Arc

“You’re crazy to think you’ll make it!”

“Only the best in the world can achieve it.”

“But, you already have a good-paying job.”

“That’s a stupid idea!”

“What if you fail? What will you do?”

When you commit to discovering and fulfilling your life purpose, these and similar statements you’ll hear. They’ll come from others, yourself and/or both. You’ll be tempted to give in instead of standing up for your purpose. But, you need to stick with it no matter what. There are no guarantees in life. But you will accomplish more by committing to your calling instead of traveling the easier path.

So how do you stick with it in the face of adversity? Let’s face it. It’s challenging to stay focused on your calling when stronger souls try pulling you away. It’s even more challenging when the resistance comes from yourself. Last week I gave suggestions on discovering your life purpose. This week, I’m giving suggestions on sticking with your purpose.

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